GAMESUCKTORIAL: Where Do You Find The Time
By Lord Scorpio Bloodskull
The other day I decided to play a little Everquest, and
try to advance my character's levels. That's when I noticed something
that really vexed me: There's a lot of freaking high-level people playing!
Don't get me wrong, Lord Scorpio Bloodskull (my "online" persona) is
not one to be trifled with, but come on! Where do you people find the
time to obtain those ridiculous levels?
Don't you play any other games like I do? My PC software receives most
of my attention, but I also have all the home consoles too. Now, I'm not some
kind of one-company fanboy, but I must admit that my Xbox gets played more than any other system.
It definitely has the best graphics. Of course, any video game expert, like yours truly, will
tell you that graphics aren't everything, but I sure do love showing off my Xbox.
When Microsoft finally releases Halo 2, I'm inviting everyone I know to join
me in my lair for a long-awaited celebratory gaming party. Everyone except for that
poser, Count Morgoth Lestat. He's not invited, and he knows why.
I also spend a lot of time collecting classic video games. When I'm not dispatching
noobs on Everquest, or playing my consoles, I like to hunt for elusive vintage
games to enhance my electronic entertainment horde. Places like garage sales
and flea markets are ideal spots for finding clueless sellers. Once, at a local
yard sale, I found a box full of Sega Genesis games that included a near-mint copy
of Herzog Zwei. When I asked the guy how much he wanted for it, he said one dollar!
Can you believe it? I bet that guy would be pretty pissed if he knew that game sells for
fifteen dollars on Ebay! I sure hope he's not reading this now. Then again, Lord Scorpio
Bloodskull fears no mere mortal.
Surely, you high-level people must spend some time perusing online message boards
and usenet just like me. When I'm not buying or playing video games, I like to discuss
them with my fellow experts. You won't find Lord Scorpio Bloodskull in just any dialog
however. I avoid those childish forums where the topic of the day is, "Who would win
in a fight, Sephiroth or Mega Man?" That's just freaking stupid! First of all, they're
not even from the same game, so how can you compare them? Secondly, everyone knows that
Sephiroth would destroy Mega Man if it were ever possible for them to fight.
Despite crap like this, I'm still able to find quality video game debate online.
This is bullshit!
Perhaps you guys don't have any hobbies outside of playing games, but I sure do.
I'm currently drawing a comic book based on my adventures in Everquest.
I call it, Bloodskull, and I'm hoping Marvel Comics will publish it under their new
EPIC line. I also like to work on cosplay costumes, which I wear to the
bi-monthly anime film showings at the college theater. On top of all this, I'm also trying to
learn the Japanese language for the obvious reasons.
As you can see, Lord Scorpio Bloodskull has a pretty busy schedule, so you can
understand why I ask these high-level characters, "where do you find the time?" I guess
those people must really be addicted or something, cause they definitley can't have a life
outside of Everquest like me. I have better things to do with my
time than just enhancing my character in a single game. Lord Scorpio Bloodskull may never match
you elitist geeks in level, but at least I know that I'm not some freaking loser!