A Message from That Video Game Magazine You Read
This is a message from that video game magazine
you read. You know, the good one. We're buying this space on Gamesuck, because
we strongly disagree with the opinions expressed here.
The staff of Gamesuck would like you to believe
that the video game industry is, "a gigantic retarded monster that will soon
collapse in a pool of its own noxious waste." This couldn't be further from the
truth. In fact, the industry is stronger today than it has ever been!
Do you know that video games make more money than
movies, Gamesuck? How can something that's profitable and popular be,
as you call it, retched trash? Oh, go ahead and point out Microsoft, wrestling, and the
hundreds of other examples you think make your staff look so witty. We can assure
you that nobody's laughing. Today's gamers are smart enough to realize that their hobby
is a diamond in the rough.
Do you need even more proof, Gamesuck? Well, if games are
so terrible why do they score such high reviews in our publication? It's not because
the companies that make these games also advertise in our magazine, and advertisements
account for 99% of our total profits. It's because video games are awesome, and
deserve those stellar reviews.
Let us elaborate. Every month our magazine sees more
and more games that deserve our highest possible review score. These games are perfect,
meaning they cannot be improved upon in any way. Here are just a few of those games: