A Message from That Video Game Magazine You Read
03/02/03

Hello,

This is a message from that video game magazine you read. You know, the good one. We're buying this space on Gamesuck, because we strongly disagree with the opinions expressed here.

The staff of Gamesuck would like you to believe that the video game industry is, "a gigantic retarded monster that will soon collapse in a pool of its own noxious waste." This couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, the industry is stronger today than it has ever been!

Do you know that video games make more money than movies, Gamesuck? How can something that's profitable and popular be, as you call it, retched trash? Oh, go ahead and point out Microsoft, wrestling, and the hundreds of other examples you think make your staff look so witty. We can assure you that nobody's laughing. Today's gamers are smart enough to realize that their hobby is a diamond in the rough.

Do you need even more proof, Gamesuck? Well, if games are so terrible why do they score such high reviews in our publication? It's not because the companies that make these games also advertise in our magazine, and advertisements account for 99% of our total profits. It's because video games are awesome, and deserve those stellar reviews.

Let us elaborate. Every month our magazine sees more and more games that deserve our highest possible review score. These games are perfect, meaning they cannot be improved upon in any way. Here are just a few of those games:

Eternal Darkness

Flawless
DoA Xtreme Beach Volleyball

Impeccable
Metal Gear Solid 2

Perfect


Gamesuck, we think our magazine's reviews prove that your opinions are wrong. We will always be honest in our reporting, and when, if ever, video games start to suck, we will definitely tell our loyal readers. If that act causes the industry to crash under the weight of its own mediocrity then so be it. We won't mind losing our cushy jobs that allow us to play free video games all day.

Please, subscribe to our fine publication if you have not already done so. Thank you.

Sincerely,
That Video Game Magazine You Read


Archive
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are the property of their respective owners. All other content 2002-2005 Gamesuck.com