Stab Grandma Preview
02/09/02

Rockstar Games apparently has discovered that murder simulators sell big, because they've just released some information on their follow-up to State of Emergency. It's tentatively titled "Stab Grandma While She's Sleeping!" and when released will, no doubt, become the most controversial game to date.

The basic plot of "Stab Grandma While She's Sleeping!" is to kill your Grandma while she's sleeping. You control the grandson and attempt to murder your own Grandma using the various methods available to you. "You can do more than just stab her. We've included all sorts of brutal methods to dispose of the old wench," says Jamie King, Rockstar's director of developing.

The demo we played was excessively bloody and hilarious. Sometimes Grandma would wake up when we entered her room, and she'd beg and scream as we killed her really slow. Other times she'd wake up after the initial stabbing, and sometimes not at all. We also experimented with the different ways of killing Grandma. We beat her with a hammer, smothered her with a pillow, and shot her with Grandpa's old revolver.

We should also mention our favorite feature of the game: the design-mode. Using the tools included in the game we were able to create characters that looked, shockingly, just like us and our real-life Grandmothers. We were also able to create our Grandmother's houses in amazing detail. There's no better stress relief than stabbing your own Grandma. We love this game!

Despite all this there are bound to be people who will try to get this game removed from store shelves. We'd like to remind them that it's just a game, and that the package is clearly marked with a mature rating, guaranteeing nobody under the age of 18 will ever play it! Jamie King also adds, "While real stabbings are far from funny, this game is far from realistic. We designed this game to be fun and to appeal to sophisticated adult gamers."

"Stab Grandma While She's Sleeping!" is currently scheduled for a 3rd quarter release on the Nintendo GameBoy Advance.



You gonna die now, bitch!

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