Ikaruga Review
By Karl Klansman
Let me tell you something, I like video games. I really like video games! In fact when I'm not defending America against race-mixing, homosexuality, and any other force seeking to wipe out white authority, there's nothing I like more than a good shooter game.

I was, therefore, thrilled when I heard about Ikaruga, the quasi-sequel to the excellent shooter Radiant Silvergun. As you may know, both games come from Treasure, a company unafraid to make race a central part of their games.

Ikaruga is a vertically-scrolling, 2-player shooter. You control a ship that must destroy all the enemies without being killed yourself. In Ikaruga, however, your ship (and the enemies) can assume two modes: "black" or "white". If you're in black mode, you absorb all black attacks. If you're in white mode, you absorb all white attacks. Choosing the correct mode is necessary to advance in the game.

After reading a similar description I first thought, "Finally, a game that features the true source of all human conflict." Unfortunately, those yellow, inferior monkeys screwed-up by forcing the player to be black during many parts of the game.

Now, I don't have anything against the color black. I see the use of black in Ikaruga as a metaphor for all non-white colors, like brown, red, and yellow. But, by requiring players to be black during the game, Treasure destroys this beautiful metaphor.

In the interest of helping Treasure avoid such hypocrisies in the almost necessary sequel, I have summarized some changes I would make to improve the game's purity:

  • White mode should also absorb black bullets.
  • While playing in "letter-box" mode, the black, side-bars should be changed to white.
  • When in black mode, the player's ship should be much slowed to represent the laziness and drunkenness naturally associated with the black color.

So, is Ikaruga a total disaster? Well, one thing they did get right is the way one white bullet will easily destroy anything that's black. Nevertheless, I'd only recommend this game if it's your intent to become a slave to the ideals of race-mixing and globalism.

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