E3 SHOCKER: E3 Wrap-up

Another E3 has come and gone. We played some really bad games this year, but a few outstanding titles caught our eye. Here are the games we feel were the best of the show:

Maybe next year?

GameCube Game of Show:
No Show
Nintendo did not attend E3 this year. Nintendo did not showcase high resolution versions of games they've already released. Confused gamers stumbled around the expo floor not knowing what to do without being able to play a Miyamoto game. We could have given this award to some third party title, but let's be serious. How many games do you own for your GameCube that weren't made by Nintendo? Exactly.
PlayStation 2 Game of Show:
Appearing in a taped presentation, PlayStation President Kraulos confirmed that Sony intends to bring the Asian "mega-hit" SARS to the US market. No actual gameplay was shown, but using air quotes, Kraulos promised that Americans will "love" the "to-die-for" graphics and "infectious" gameplay. We believe SARS may be similar to Pokémon, since its slogan, Catch It America, seems to indicate capturing something.

To promote the game, Sony gave away moist cloths with the
SARS logo. We took more than our fair share, and may use
them as a prize in a future contest!

Your computer will never be the same after you install What
Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass

PC Game of Show:
What Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass
Atari clearly had the best PC game at E3. When they invited us behind closed doors and presented What Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass, we were totally left speechless. What Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass is unique and astonishing. Sid Meier, the game's creator, will always be known for his brilliant Civilization series, but when you get to play with What Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass, you'll quickly forget about all the products he's squeezed out over the years.
XBox Game of Show:
Bible Brawlers
In an ongoing venture to offend the world, Microsoft unveiled Bible Brawlers, their latest religious-themed fighting game. Bible Brawlers is the unofficial sequel to Kakuto Chojin, a title that has already outraged Muslims with its anti-Islamic gameplay. Christians are the target this time. Bible Brawlers allows players to beat the hell out of biblical characters including Jesus, Moses, and Satan. The fatalities, including Judas' Kiss of Death, make this disgusting game fit in perfectly with the current XBox library.

According to Microsoft, you'll get to fight at a secret Nazi moon
base, just like in the Bible! In this screenshot Moses uses his
Part the Red Sea fatality on Judas.

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