E3 SHOCKER: E3 Wrap-up
Another E3 has come and gone. We played some really bad games this year,
but a few outstanding titles caught our eye. Here are the games we feel were
the best of the show:
Maybe next year?
GameCube Game of Show:
Nintendo did not attend E3 this year. Nintendo did not
showcase high resolution versions of games they've already released.
Confused gamers stumbled around the expo floor not knowing what
to do without being able to play a Miyamoto game. We could have
given this award to some third party title, but let's be serious.
How many games do you own for your GameCube that weren't made
by Nintendo? Exactly.
PlayStation 2 Game of Show:
Appearing in a taped presentation, PlayStation President Kraulos
confirmed that Sony intends to bring the Asian "mega-hit" SARS to the
US market. No actual gameplay was shown, but using air quotes, Kraulos promised that
Americans will "love" the "to-die-for" graphics and "infectious" gameplay.
We believe SARS may be similar to Pokémon, since its slogan, Catch
It America, seems to indicate capturing something.
To promote the game, Sony gave away moist cloths with the
SARS logo. We took more than our fair share, and may use
them as a prize in a future contest!
Your computer will never be the same after you install What
Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass.
PC Game of Show:
What Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass
Atari clearly had the best PC game at E3. When they invited us
behind closed doors and presented What Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass, we
were totally left speechless. What Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass is
unique and astonishing. Sid Meier, the game's creator, will always be known
for his brilliant Civilization series, but when you get to play with
What Fell Out of Sid Meier's Ass, you'll quickly forget about all the
products he's squeezed out over the years.
XBox Game of Show:
In an ongoing venture to offend the world, Microsoft unveiled
Bible Brawlers, their latest religious-themed fighting game.
Bible Brawlers is the unofficial sequel to Kakuto Chojin,
a title that has already outraged Muslims with its anti-Islamic gameplay.
Christians are the target this time. Bible Brawlers allows players
to beat the hell out of biblical characters including Jesus, Moses, and Satan.
The fatalities, including Judas' Kiss of Death, make this disgusting
game fit in perfectly with the current XBox library.
According to Microsoft, you'll get to fight at a secret Nazi moon
base, just like in the Bible! In this screenshot Moses uses his
Part the Red Sea fatality on Judas.